Another Damned Day Today.

Yup. I see it coming.  Another perfectly lousy day. Yup.
Not worse than they've been, mind you. But bad.  Bad.  Bad as stinking rotten shit. Yup.
And don't ask me why me. Another 45 years of this crap and you will see it doesn't make one tiny bit of difference what you say, what you do, or who you try to tell.  It goes on anyway.  Always, nonstop; and probably will forever at the rate things are going.  At least, in my estimation, 1000 years, easy.
Let me try to explain. Just let me.
I'll tell you and I hope, Bud; that this will suffice as the key. It will also show you the missing ingredients you need to cook the goose so it tastes even better than the best tasting most delicious exsquitely seasoned chicken you ever (ever) put in your mouth.
I am Mentally Ill. Yup.  Nothing I can do about it.  You can't figure it out. I am. It's truth.  I have, I know, and I even act like one all my breathless days and nights.
I as one of them can tell you and want to too, a few insider secrets about how this brilliant game 'our overseers' play works.
I think that basically number one they want to shut me up.  I have spent my time for 40 years educating myself. A lot of stuff.  Tons.
And I got so much to say, it would blow the lid off your brain if I were to tell you the half of it.
It's so hard to explain even some of it because the words I use act as symbols to mean for you not exactly what they do for me and others.  Alright.
This could be funny - if you have a sick sense of humor, that is.
See, the establishment, those who set the parameters for what it is proper to think and what is illegal, are using me as a guinee pig in a biological experiment devised and  begun over 50 years ago.  Honest to God.
I have so much complimentary information from my past experiences with them that would  confirm this, and lots of written material from other survivors and professionals who are aware of it, too.
What it is is most clearly defined to the average normal mind as what was seen in the Matrix movie bought to your viewing pleasures a while ago.  That that was essentially fictional we cannot doubt, but with a little understanding here I'll show you how my position  here and now is not that dissimilar from what you saw then.      Not that different. But a bit more worse, actually.
Ancient masters of enlightenment from the dawn of civilization, you may remember; always spoke words telling us to wake up. They intimate we are asleep, don't really see what is what, and mostly for the most part run away and hide away from those who try to give us a way to see reality. If they don't run and do the proverbial - head for hills - they try to destroy the one who tries to show them clearly what is real and what is not.  Well, for some fucking reason; I got free at a very early age.
What happened to me in my life after that has been as continuing and never ending round of constantly defending myself against things I really want to tell you about.  Yes.
These obstacles to my progress along the road to the fulfillment of The American Dream, my right,  are so clearly true real life actually happening that a person would these days around here would have to be dead not to see it.  Really.
What started as a basic regular normal ordinary inquest into the fibers of my essentially helpless self  has now mushroomed into diagnosis after diagnosis of psychiatric anomalies not the best of most of  us can comprehend.  Besides the things I have tried with every ounce strength to fight and beat, the immediate present with its attacks from sources specifically unknown, keeps it crap up, making now my right brain the hated and most despised enemy of my left brain.  Split mind?  I hope Jesus never finds out!  No. He better not. That's all for now.  EEEE.